Catholic Sacraments vs. Age

Baptism: 6 months

First Communion: 6 Years

Penance: 12 years

Confirmation: 13 years

Marriage/Holy Orders (either/or): 18 to 35

Last Rites: As close to death as possible

Kind of a gap between the first six and the last one. If you're not making babies or running the Church, there's not a lot to do in the middle decades.

Back to the theme...

Back in July of 1995 I was working at a pizza supplies warehouse in Staten Island. I'd work a 7am to 11am shift, loading trucks and restocking the warehouse.

The refrigerated room was always a good place to work, given the 90+ degree heat and high humidity. The high value items in the warehouse (sausage, Jamaican beef patties, spices) were kept on the top palette shelf. There was no ladder in the room. To get to the top, you had to climb several palettes stacked in steps. Think Mario Brothers combined with Tetris.

One day, after a quick load of the 8 outbound trucks, they sent me in to FIFO the top shelf (restock the items from back to front). I climbed on top of a palette of 40 cases of Mozarella cheese, and was deposited on top of two other palettes of the same. After about 15 minutes up there, I had a revelation:
40 cases per palette times 50 pounds per pallete times 3 cases = 600 lbs

I was standing on 3 tons of cheese.

Unfortunately I began to shout this realization out loud. Several times. Loudly.

This prompted a visit from Pablo:
"Blanquito, que gritas?!!"

"Nada. Hay mucha quesa aqui..."

"Aye conyo diablo!!! Que stupido..."

In an unfortunate twist of fate, I became lactose intolerant three years later.

TOTALLY MENTAL!

All I need....

Let's try this.....

the jerk song....

departure from the theme

And the first movie quote:

"If she wants to play lumberjack, she's gonna have to learn to handle her end of the log..."

- Harry Callahan, The Enforcer

Per wikipedia: Government cheese, or "Pasteurized Process American Cheese for Use in Domestic Programs", is processed cheese that was provided to welfare and food stamp recipients in the United States during the 1980s. (The style of cheese predated the era, having been used in military kitchens since the Second World War.)

FYI - this is what it really looks like - I used to work at a food bank in the 90's.

variations on a theme

I don't mind the $700 Billion Wall Street bailout. Really, I don't.

But to properly terminate the Reagonimic legacy, I would demand that each executive of the assisted banks that be required to eat a brick of government cheese.

Granted, that shit is 25 years old, but it was built to last.

A Hard Rain...

I watched the concession and acceptance speeches at the local sushi bar.

The owner, Mitz, was soc excited that he cracked open a new keg of sake and provided free drinks all night.

I may always associate the feeling of overdue political change with a sake hangover.

The Storm

The storm knocked down a big branch in front of my apartment.

They cleared the branch out, but left the "CAUTION" tape blocking my door and window.

I'm trying not to take it personally.